Ways to Stop Bullying: Handling Sexually-Agressive Students

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Classroom management ideas are not enough for dealing with sexually-oriented students. You must focus on ways to stop bullying when student safety is at risk.

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Your Question

An 8-year-old student is exposed himself and the girls are afraid.

This boy, in spite of his young age, is more interested in sexual matters than anything else.

Of course I've talked to the principal, who just directed me to our school counselor. But she acted like she was afraid of the topic. When she talked to him, she asked questions like, "How are things going at home?" but never mentioned "it"...the stuff he did in class. I really don't see any effective help coming from there.

I don't have any clear idea what to do...any suggestions? Because all of my other students are in fear of him, especially girls.

~ Darlene

Betsy's Answer

It's shocking isn't it? And he is only eight. Is it any wonder that teacher burnout is so prevalent among those who are new to our profession?

This kind of thing is mentally and emotionally exhausting, and many times there is no assistance coming from the parents.

Sometimes you can't believe
what you're hearing

I had a student once who was acting as a borderline sexual predator, stalking the girls in class during lunch and recess. When I called to discuss ways to stop bullying with his mom, she said: "Oh, he's just my little man. He can't wait to grow up and make babies."

No help there...

One thing I do know: This child needs the attention a caring teacher and staff can provide. Without it, he won't be successful at any aspect of school - academic or social - and his chance of a successful future will diminish grade-by-grade.

He's a little broken inside. He has not had the care and protection from trusted adults that every child deserves.

On the other hand, it is paramount that every child knows that school is a safe place that is free from harassment, and your girl students have every right to expect a healthy educational environment.

Different types of bullying call for different responses

This is bullying, plain and simple. When considering ways to stop bullying, remember that immediate action is extremely important. And you can't do this one alone.

I suggest that you set a meeting with the principal and counselor and insist that both attend. Don't take "no" for an answer.

Bring along a teaching partner from your grade level or the year before who is familiar with the problem and has observed it first-hand. Bringing your own support makes it harder for administrators to dismiss your concerns.

The meeting must result in a commitment by the counselor to contact the boy's parents to discuss the behavior. And your principal must agree to a plan for removing the boy from the classroom at the first sign of any inappropriate behavior.

What can teachers do?

As for the role of the teacher, here are a few ways to stop bullying that I learned from handling a similar situation.

"Jim" didn't expose himself, but he was sexually aggressive with girls, fondled himself in class and bragged about things he did and watched at home.

I started by letting Jim know I cared about him and was going to teach him, but these behaviors were NOT welcome in my classroom.

He understood that any inappropriate conduct would result in removal from the room and involvement of his parents.

I hounded the school counselor and the principal. When they were not responsive enough, I got the district behavior intervention specialist involved.

My next step was to discuss the issue with Child Protective Services because in my state, all teachers are mandatory reporters of suspected abuse. If I notify a counselor of potential abuse at home and they won't make that call, I do it myself.

I hope that gives you some ideas on ways to stop bullying of this nature.

With this kind of behavior, the issue is bigger than just classroom management and you have to do everything you can to get this boy some help. He needs an adult to care about him enough to protect him...while protecting the other students at the same time.